just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize