Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
