Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
