it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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