The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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