That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Randomize
