Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
