She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
