This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
