you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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