I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
