Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
