I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
