it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize