Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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