so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
