Do you still have your period?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
