Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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