Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Floor bacon is actually really good
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
