If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize