I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
