I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I touched a dick in church today
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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