A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
