I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize