If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize