what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
