hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize