too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
