im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
