well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
