Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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