Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
