Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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