At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
