clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
