I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
