He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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