Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
