he was CRYING into my vagina
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
