oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Randomize
