Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
