so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
