i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
