i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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