So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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