So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I need help removing her.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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