So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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