I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
