So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
