So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
