So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize