trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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