Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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