I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
