We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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