The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
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