hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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