i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize
