im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I am available for nakedness
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
