Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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