They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize