i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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