It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
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