I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
And then my night got REAL pukey
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